Sometimes Do you ever just think so much that you end up thinking about the thinking? I like to call it ✨self-awareness✨
No, but seriously. It is exhausting.
I’ve written a lot on this – duality, people-pleasing, not having a sense of identity.
This constant analysis of everything you’re faced with.
(And look! I’m doing it right now)
They call it Analysis Paralysis. And it’s pretty accurate. You hold a magnifying glass to the point you start seeing your reflection in it. Trying to solve something entirely different to what you set out to do. The paralysis comes in when you have too many equations in your brain to solve…and all of them are simultaneous.
And the impact?
Yes, it slows you down in social contexts. But the computing power of that brain doesn’t come for free. There’s a hidden tax you pay for having the 55 tabs open – all of them buffering. Unsurprisingly, this can manifest in you feeling physically drained. And the cumulative affect influencing your overall sense of worth.
Why do we do this?
Is it a trauma response. A form of self-preservation. Maybe if you’ve thought everything through, you’ve taken everyone into account, there’s no chance you’d fail and displease someone. So, really, its a sense of false control.
But it’s not all bad. It’s one thing I’ve come to love about myself.
It makes us the thinkers. The feelers.
The ponderers. The existentialists. The philosophers.
The ones who’d make scary movies exceptionally boring and short – because take my word, they wouldn’t be in the situation to begin with.
And when two of these minds connect – it’s pure alchemy.